it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
I'm really busy with my period
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