hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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