You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
