her vagine was all disorganized.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Never joke about your clitoris.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
