I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
