So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
