You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
