Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
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