would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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