driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I need a beard to bite.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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