you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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