Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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