I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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