In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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