It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Is Oprah even human
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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