the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
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