I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
