I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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