i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize
