But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
