on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
