so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Randomize
