she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Randomize
