Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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