that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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