be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
