Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
