he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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