You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I don't think brook has ever known best
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
