I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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