I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
