I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
