just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
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