He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
is that a dick in a sweater?
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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