What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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