His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
