When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Text me some of your sweat
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
