I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
