Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
