Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
