i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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