Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
