Where is the hickey?
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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