Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Every concussion has its silver lining
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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