im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
