Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Randomize
