Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
