if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Randomize
