it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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