White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
So gin and wine won't be happening again
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
