i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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