Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
